she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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