Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
