Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she peed on how many people?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
