I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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