My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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