1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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