i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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