I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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