im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
