Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
