my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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