Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
