Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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