YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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