i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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