her vagine was all disorganized.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize