i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
