Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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