She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And then my night got REAL pukey
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
