Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
