I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
