So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
