U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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