i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
