I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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