Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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