The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
