The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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