it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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