Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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