I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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