So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Say something about gay babies.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize