margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
