It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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