Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
