I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize