Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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