god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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