yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
