I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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