Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
