i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
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I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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