I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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