just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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