have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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