in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I believe in your delicious
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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