I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
