New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
