therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
