Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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