I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
