Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
