Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
