im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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