Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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