I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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