Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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