the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
