Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
only you would photoshop your dick
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
