Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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