Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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