Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry about my life...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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