I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
