someone get that fucking seahorse.
My balls are so social today.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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