Buhtt sex?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
